We’re here with our first top 25 of the year so let’s take a look at how the men are looking!

1. Colorado – wetmore’s got himself a bitchin’ ponytail and the sass to match. If they wrote a book about this year’s Colorado team, the chapter about what they just did at prenats would be banned from public schools for being too graphic.

2. Edward Cheserek – young chezzy hasn’t been beat this year. But the haters claim that’s only cause he doesn’t have the huevos to take on Emma bates. Hopefully we get to see these two Duke it out at some point this year.

C.

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5. Iona – I o en o where the hell this place is.

6. Syracuse – okay if what Colorado did at prenats was too graphic for public schools, if you wanted to watch what Syracuse did at wisco, you’d have to go to the back of the video store behind a curtain.

7. Ok state – they’re ok…

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9. UCLA – everyone is a bit wary to see the Bruins doing well, but they’ve still got 3 meets left to disappoint so we’ll see how this ends up

10. Florida State – still undefeated at this point in the season and Jameis was nothing short of spectacular against Notre dame. With a favorable schedule the rest of the way, the noles should find themselves in the inaugural playoff.

11. Washington – whatever happened to their women’s team? Are they red shirting this year or what?

12. Villanova – solid depth and excellent pack running has this squad, led by Patrick Tiernan, gunning for a top-10 spot at nationals

13. Michigan – more like Mich-I-can, am I right? Am I?

17. Wisconsin – they hosted a meet and it was okay. Not really any cool music playing and the wait staff seemed rude. 2 Stars. Would not recommend to others.

18. Stanford – if grade inflation applied to cross country scores, I’d give them more credit, but to be honest, I feel like a degree from Stanford is more than enough recognition.

19. Washington – whatever happened to their women’s team? Are they red shirting this year or what?

20. Token Ivy League School – watch out for these guys, they got a few recruits that you’d never expect and they’ll be the underdogs we all grow to love, until they graduate and start earning huge salaries we could only dream of.

21. New Mexico – if I grew up in England and wanted to come to school in the U.S., I can think of literally thousands of places I’d rather live than Albuquerque. I dunno, maybe they’re all breaking bad fans.

22. Gordon Mack – please stop ignoring our calls. I don’t know if this is a game to you or what but you’re really starting to hurt our feelings.

Next. Arizona State – I went to rite aid yesterday and bought a snickers bar. They gave me literally 18 inches of receipt. Seemed pretty crazy, but I started reading it. Turns out about 3 inches of that receipt was an acceptance letter to Arizona State. Pretty crazy, I know.

Then. Adams State – getting ranked in a d1 poll means a lot to these guys, let them have it.

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27. BYU – 27 seemed like a good spot to rank them, being the average age of their squad.

28. DJ Mustard – dude is on everything right now. So crazy.

29. Portland – I’m willing to admit I forgot to rank them

30. Southern Utah – pretty good for an online college IMO