We don’t post on this blog much these days, but the excitement of the 2016 NCAA Cross-Country season has us plotting and projecting all sorts of wild stuff. Now that the “BIGGEST WEEKEND EVER OF ALL TIME IN 2016 CROSS COUNTRY WEEKENDS OF ALL TIME” has passed, we’re able to get a good reading of how the National Championship will play out in November. Crap- what’s the date of NCAAs anyways? We’re about as forgetful as Donald Trump when it comes to remembering important dates in November, so take the following as you’d like…

Welcome to @DumbFlotrack‘s Post-Pre-Nationals XC Rankings 2016…

Note*** These are not projections or power rankings. The following list is how the NCAA XC Championship will play out no matter what don’t even try to argue with us.

Men:

1. Oregon– Are you surprised to see Oregon at the top of this list? Are you a cave troll and have no access to the internet?? What this really comes down to outside of King Cheserek toying with the best runners in the NCAA is simple… I think the Oregon Men want to win this title more than anything just to see if Andy Powell will actually show some emotion. They’re gonna have to pull out something really special for that to happen, but we aren’t gonna rule it out.*Cheserek, if you’re reading this, please unblock us.
2. NAU– NAU won’t even be at the NCAAs according to the Flotrack Kolas Calculator a few weeks ago, but wouldn’t it be cool to see them defy all odds and get a podium spot when they aren’t even supposed to make it to the meet? This program has been developing well over the past few years, and a No.2 ranking could easily be No.1 if the stars align; and trust us, kids at NAU know about astronomy cuz those dudes live in the mountains and you can see the full Milky Way I’m guessing.
3. Stanford- If the Cardinal (still don’t know what that mascot is) finish in the top-3 maybe people will want to go to their invite again next year. If that doesn’t motivate them to really want this podium finish idk what will. Fisher and McGorty are in prime condition, so look out for these guys.
4. Colorado– I swear to God you could give Mark Wetmore 3 guys, 1 dog, an orange peel and the shoe from monopoly and that team would make the meet. We all know the Buffs aren’t as strong as they were a year ago, so a podium finish is about as unlikely as Nick Viall being a great Bachelor next season (trust us on this analogy- we KNOW The Bachelor better than anything).
5. Arkansas– UCLA would be in this spot, but let’s be honest they already had one really good race this season and that’s just two more good races than they’ve ever had before completely imploding heading into post-season. With this in mind, Arkansas takes this slot I guess, and Solomon Haile is getting a little old for the NCAA don’t you think?
6. Syracuse– The Orange Pumpkin Guys won last year’s XC title, but it’s harder to repeat NCAA champs as a team than it is to convince my mom’s friend Kyle to let me borrow his car. Count on Justyn Knight to contend for a title individually. Would be kinda cool to see him and Cheserek literally stop, fist-fight for like two minutes and then still finish a minute ahead of the next runner.
7. BYU– They raced really well a few weeks ago, and coach Eyestone doesn’t like hype so we’ll keep them out of the top 5.
8. Michigan– Personally think these guys are running really well thanks to Jim Harbaugh who has really pointed the program in the right direction over the past two years.
9. UTEP– “Glory Road” is about the 1966 UTEP Men’s Basketball team and in a way this year’s XC team is doing the same thing except with Kenyans.
10. Iona– Because they’ve finished in the top-10 for the past decade and this doesn’t look like the year that’ll end. Basically, we’d be stupid to not put them on this list, but you can call me Larry if they get into the top-5 at the Big Dance.

Women:

1. Colorado-Everyone’s 2nd favorite page on twitter, @girlzgonemiles.. These ladies have been absolutely dominant this year. Looks like they learned some lessons from the past Men’s side AND they don’t have the pressure of repeating like last year’s guys did. Lady Buffs take this one, but they’ll have to be on their game just like Lebron in Game 7.
2. Washington– The Washington women have been trying to prove to us that they’re a top contender this year, and we’ve noticed. They take the No.2 spot thanks to their performances at some of the nation’s biggest meets. The one-two punch of Neale and Prouse is basically the Kendall-Kylie power duo we’ve all been waiting to see. UW also gets No.2, because we promised we’d stop making husky jokes.
3. Michigan– The Wolverines would be No. 2, but Erin Finn left us waiting at the hot dog stand at Pre-Nats. BUT this might just be the year this team doesn’t explode in a maelstrom of injuries, and it looks like they’re on the rise.
4. Oregon– With Jordan Hasay coming into form with a recent victory, this team could just pull off a top-5 finish. The Ducks like to fly as a pack, and if they can keep their group together they’ll have a shot at a top-5 finish.
5. NC State– These women took 2nd at Wisco this weekend, and that’s no easy feat. If they can perform strongly one more time at this weekend’s Mt. SAC Invitational they’ll either be overworked or just pumped up enough to mix in with the best of the best.
6. Providence– Sarah Collins Sarah Collins Sarah Collins Sarah Collins Sarah Collins Sarah Collins Sarah Collins Sarah Collins Sarah Collins Sarah Collins Sarah Collins Sarah Collins
7. New Mexico– Last year they were the team to beat. This year i don’t know shit about them except that they have a few low-sticks, so they get No. 7.
8. Portland– Don’t they train with the Bowerman TC women? You gotta hand it to the Pilots- they’ve been a force to be reckoned with this season even without Tansey Lystad (yo, wassup Tanseyyyy).
9. Arkansas– why not?
10. Utah– They’re only in here cuz Allie Ostrander is hurt tbh. Side note, in Australia a “ute” is a pickup truck, and we think that’s pretty darn cool.